I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize