he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
