It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Floor bacon is actually really good
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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