I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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