He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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