She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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