Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
