You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
