so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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