Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
