Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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