Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
