So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
