Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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