very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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