genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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