stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
50% drunk capacity currently
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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