They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
