the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
