so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I love you. Go after that dick
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
