It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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