Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
