I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
