Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
