That's intense
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
