found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
