I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
