Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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