Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
