guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
