All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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