Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
