i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
