I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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