well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
