So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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