I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I want you more than these girls want KFC
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i drank out of a bidet.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
