Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
