she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
