I need help removing her.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
