Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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