We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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