There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
