hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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