dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
