Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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