The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
