TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He shit in the fireplace
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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