"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
