can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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